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Welcome to Dr. William G. DeFoore's Monthly E-Newsletter

  goodfinding.com       W.G. DeFoore, Ph.D. August 2008 Vol 2 Issue 8   

 
The Eyes Of Those Who Love You
Have you ever noticed that it is much easier to love others than it is to love yourself? Well, here's an exercise that will help you explore that challenging and often uncharted territory called self-love. Think of those who love you the most. Imagine what it is like to see yourself through their eyes. Take some time with this--it's not easy or automatic. Write down the words they would use to describe you. If they were to speak to your heart from theirs, it might go something like this: "You are so important to me. I know your heart, and your heart is good. You are a good person, and I know you want only the best for me. I see how hard you try to make things good and right, and I can see you struggle when things don't go well. I love you, just as you are. My wish for you is that you be well and happy, and go easy on yourself. You matter to me." Put your own variations on this, and keep going until you feel a warmth growing in your heart. Loving yourself is the best gift you could give to the world. Learn more about how to develop self-love here.

Always Expect The Best

You are always expecting something, whether you realize it or not. Your subconscious mind is busy as you go from task to task and person to person, expecting and projecting outcomes into your future. Here's the clincher--if you let this mental process run on automatic, it will too often be negative. So, starting today, expect the best! Every time you are entering a new situation, picture and imagine things working out very well. That will lower your stress and raise your optimism along the way, and regardless of what actually happens you'll be in better shape when you get there. Most importantly, there is more and more evidence every day that your expectations are actually a part of the creative mechanism of your mind. So, the more you expect positive outcomes, the more positive outcomes you will experience!

  Your Attitude Is Your Greatest Asset 

A recent Yale study demonstrates clearly that attitude may be more important than blood pressure, weight, exercise and smoking in determining health and longevity. Read the article in its entirety here, and learn how powerful your mind is in affecting your health. The study showed that people with positive images of old age lived 7.6 years longer than those with negative images of aging, while healthy weight, exercise and non-smoking only increased life span by 1-3 years. It makes sense, if you think about it. Regardless of how old you are, if you have positive images of aging, you will have something to look forward to (instead of something to dread). Check your own images of aging, and make sure they are positive. (Don't tell anybody, but we're all aging right now). Aging starts when we're born and ends when we die. Read this article on Elegant Aging, or preview this CD program entitled Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger, Wiser.


What Is Goodfinding, Anyway? 

Goodfinding is the art and skill of focusing your thoughts on the good within you and in the world around you. Goodfinding reveals the gift in your problems, the blessings within crisis, and the strength and wisdom that can be derived from illness. A Goodfinder is a person who consistently practices Goodfinding. Goodfinding is good brain exercise, and could actually help prevent Alzheimer's Disease--see The Nun Study. Since it helps to build faith and optimism, Goodfinding also strengthens your immune system, meaning you will get sick less often and recover more quickly when you are sick. For more information about the connection of faith and optimism with the immune system, read Dr. Herbert Benson's book Timeless Healing. Once a month, Dr. DeFoore does a two hour talk at Cooper Aerobics Center entitled Goodfinding: Optimizing Your Aptitude for Health and Happiness, and you can hear this live presentation on our CD program with the same name. And, you can listen to a preview of this CD program right now.

Finding The Good In Grieving
Yes, believe it or not there is good to be found in the grieving process. Grieving is an act of love, and the greater the love the deeper and more important the grief. Moving through the grief process is primarily a matter of remembering the love that you experienced, needed, or never got in your relationship. The seven stages of grief often include a lot of love, anger and forgiveness, asking that we let go--which is what love is all about anyway. I just completed a new web page on AngerManagementResource.com which describes the stages of grief and methods and skills for healthy grieving. The good in grieving is this: 1.) When you complete your grieving processes you avoid the depression, bitterness and illness that can result when you don't, and 2.) You can actually grow stronger, wiser and more loving as a result of your healthy grieving process. Healthy grieving is a return to love.

 Quotes from Great Goodfinders

"Today will be joyous, for the beauty slamming against my face is unwilling to be ignored."
--Susan Mrosek


"The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs."
--Joan Didion

"Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the Gods."
--Plato

"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives."
--Louise L. Hay

 





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