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Welcome to Dr. William G. DeFoore's Monthly E-Newsletter

  goodfinding.com       W.G. DeFoore, Ph.D. December 2008 Vol 2 Issue 12   


Be Smart, Feel Good, Be Healthy

It might surprise you to know that the smartest thing you can do right now, no matter what your circumstances, is to find a way to feel good. When you are in a "good feeling place" (one that doesn't come from anything compulsive or addictive), your brain, body and life work better. You will make better decisions regarding your finances, and your body will naturally move toward health and vibrant well being. The emotions of joy, peace, contentment and love are never far away--even though it may seem like they are. Just take a moment right now, and remember the people who love you and want only the best for you. Take a look around you wherever you are, and appreciate what's right, good and working. Believe it or not, there is always more right than wrong, more working than broken. Use the amazing power of your brilliant mind to shift your focus to the many beautiful aspects of yourself and your world. You just improved your heart function, increased blood flow to your brain, and moved closer to the kind-hearted person you truly are. Watch The Joy Movie to take it even further! Also, check out the new content on Goodfinding.com.


The True Power Of Optimism

It's easy to be optimistic when things are going your way--the true power of the optimist is to find the good in those things that seem (or are) really, really "bad." There is hidden value in whatever is happening. The brilliance of the optimist is to look for and find that value, then capitalize on it. You may have heard someone say, "That crisis (illness, bankruptcy, or another big problem) is the best thing that ever happened to me." Well, there's actually nothing really good about illness or financial difficulty--it's all in how we respond to it. The optimist says, "How can I get better, smarter, stronger because of this?" or, "How can I make this the best thing that ever happened to me?" Now there's a stretch! That's as wild as feeling good about aging! Well, it's not only possible, it is a very good idea. It is possible for you to benefit from everything that life brings you. This is who you really are, and how you were meant to be. This is the essence of the amazing being that is your authentic self.



  Goodfinding For The Children

Daniel Goleman is and has been doing good work in the field of emotional and social intelligence for many years now. I recently read in the Greater Good magazine about a program he and Linda Lantieri have developed for helping children build emotional intelligence. I love this quote from the article:

"It is essential for children to learn new ways to have their human spirits uplifted and their inner lives nourished."


The program includes a CD for children to listen to that teaches them to relax and focus their attention. They are encouraged to get a "breathing buddy" like a teddy bear to sit on their stomach and help them be aware of their breathing. After only six minutes of a relaxation exercise, they are told by the voice on the CD, "You've just learned how to make your body feel calm and relaxed, and you can do this again any time you want." Learn more in Lantieri and Goleman's new book entitled, Building Emotional Intelligence.


How Was Your Day?

In your marriage or significant relationship, never underestimate the power of the little things, like asking each other, "How was your day?" Researchers at the University of Utah found that couples feel better after sharing how their day went with their partners. The best feelings came from sharing a positive event, especially if it involved the partner. Sharing unpleasant contact did not create negative feelings, however, unless they involved the partner. The best way to use this information might be to simply ask, "What were the high points of your day?" This generates a goodfinding thought process that is good for everyone.

You can also apply this to parenting by asking your children around the dinner table, for example, "What were your highs and lows of the day?" This gives children permission and encouragement to express all of their emotions. Good listening is essential to make this work--so be sure and make eye contact with the speaker, and reflect on what they have said before jumping to another subject. This is actually one of the most basic forms of love, that says, "I want to know about you. I am interested in your life and your feelings. You matter to me."


 Quotes from Great Goodfinders


"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
--Voltaire


"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."
--Aldous Huxley

"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love."
--Pearl S. Buck

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."
--
Peter Ustinov


 





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